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Newsgroups: alt.fan.lemurs,alt.answers,news.answers Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!enterpoop.mit.edu!gatech!howland.reston.ans.net!wupost!uunet!vtserf.cc.vt.edu!polaris.async.vt.edu!jfurr From: jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu (Joel Furr) Subject: alt.fan.lemurs: Frinkquently Asked Questions (Part 3 of 6, Lemur Poetry) Message-ID: <C7yJpB.Gx5@polaris.async.vt.edu> Followup-To: alt.fan.lemurs Summary: This posting contains the Lemur Poetry archive. Sender: jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu (Joel Furr) Organization: Lemurcave Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1993 19:34:22 GMT Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.edu Lines: 735 Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.fan.lemurs:1672 alt.answers:372 news.answers:8973 Archive-name: lemur-faq/part3 Alt-fan-lemurs-archive-name: lemur-faq/part3 Last-modified: 1993/04/05 Version: 2.0 Official USENET Alt.Fan.Lemurs Frinkquently Asked Questions Part 3 of 6 -- Lemur Poetry This posting contains the "Lemur Poetry" archive, sorted by author. ------------------------------ The Questions (1) What lemur poetry has Vance Kochenderfer written? (2) What lemur poetry has Aileen Cho written? (3) What lemur poetry has Greg Morrow written? (4) What lemur poetry has Nancy VonStein written? (5) What lemur poetry has Diana Senechal written? (6) What lemur poetry has D. Page written? (7) What lemur poetry has Greg Bole written? (8) What lemur poetry has Josh Brandt written? (9) What lemur poetry has Rachel Perkins written? (10) What lemur poetry has Sean Barrett written? (11) What lemur poetry has David Bianco written? (12) What lemur poetry has Josh Smith written? (13) What lemur poetry has Ericka Perdew written? (14) What lemur poetry has Jay Stock/Dale Jarvis written? (15) What lemur poetry has Susan Miller written? (16) What lemur poetry has Jim Griffith written? ------------------------------ The Answers (1) What lemur poetry has Vance Kochenderfer written? Vance, an engineering student at Virginia Tech, has written many lemur-oriented works of poetry, contained herein: Ode To A Lemur Lemur, Lemur, burning bright In the forests of the night Staring out with your huge eyes At the Madagascar skies Old World primate though you are I bet you could drive a car Better than most blondes I know They don't have foxlike muzzles, though Or any kind of tail to see But yours are long and bushy, gee I wish that I could be like you And live in the jungle canopy too Alas, I am an AOE* And Fortran, Fortran calls to me 'Twill make me rage, and make me curse So now I terminate my verse. * Vance is an undergraduate at Virginia Tech in Aerospace and Ocean Engineering (AOE)) springtime in antananarivo lemur fuzzy lemur warm fuzzy lemur warm big-eyed fuzzy lemur fuzzy fuzzy lemur lemur frink. The Prosimian Question Lemurs everywhere Out in the jungle, staring What do they look for? Lemurick No.1 There once was a lemur named Nigel Who met with a cow who's from Rigel They got bean burritos Proceeded to eat those And spent the next day taking Di-Gel. Reflections I stared into a lemur's eyes And wondered of what lay within Is he troubled by inner strife, by thoughts of good and sin? When lemurs talk (if they do talk) What is it they discuss? The jungle? Food? Philosophy? Or do they wonder about us? I looked-- I hoped for a reply To link man's past with his new plight He only gave what seemed a smile, And swung upon my ceiling light. Send comments/criticism to vkochend@nyx.cs.du.edu (Vance Kochenderfer). ------------------------------ (2) What lemur poetry has Aileen Cho written? Aileen Cho seems to be a particularly passionate Lemur-inspired poet and writer. Her first appearance in alt.fan.lemurs consisted of the following: I was a ring-tailed Lemur. I sat in the sun. I ate with my eyes to the sky. I chewed my haunch. The other two Lemurs abused me. I was a loner. I sat on the branch and watched that funny-looking biped through the chain-link fence who sat there watching me and muttering something about a zoo exercise for acting class. I got the strangest feeling that she thought she was me. I hiccuped. Then it was feeding time. She followed up with: In honor of my favorite Lemur at the LA zoo, Hiccup my way, oh ragged-hide Lemur Show me your ring-tail, you suntanning dreamer Your owlish visage full of Sartre-esque woe Is cuter than many a primate I know Curl on your perch as I murmur good night, Sleep well, and don't let the zookeeper bite Aileen says: Ahhhhhh, if I demonstrate any flashes of literary inspira- tion it is indeed, irrevocably and undeniably due to my welling affection and tender dotage upon said Lemur in the LA Zoo...forever will I mourn that I was not born a female Lemur...I will never know his name, but his intense gaze, his thoughtful pose as he stared at a helicopter overhead, chewing on his apple, his quirky hiccup, the way he earnest- ly chewed on the fur of his Lemur's femur...forever will my Lemur-oriented writings be created with Le Mur in my mind. A recent work follows: I asked my lemur associates what they thought about the recent display of lemur verse. My particular friend, Lemur the Loner, raised his bespectacles eyes up to the sky and yawned, proceeding to stuff another cracker down his mouth and chewing with jaws agape.. Another Lemur, named LeMar, jumped up into the corner and curled up into an adorabble furry ball as a response to my query. I climbed the chain-link fence to ask the lemur prophet If life is just a tree, and when do we get off it? Though curled up in a ball, He raised his furry head And blinked -- his jaw fell open To speak -- but yawned instead But then he leaped on down, To sit upon the ground, Arms outspread, to praise the sun And when his tanning time was done This lemur sage, without a blink Said to me, "My friend, go....frink." Finally: Oh I wish I were an awesome mild lemur That is what I'd truly like to be 'Cause if I were an awesome mild lemur Everyone would be in love with me. (Cut to scene of lemur eating a bologna sandwich). bad day. --ac Send comments/criticism to ac@cheshire.oxy.edu (Aileen Cho). ------------------------------ (3) What lemur poetry has Greg Morrow written? Lemur in summer Trailing Twinkies through the trees Suddenly, a "Frink!" Ringtail rascal sits, Prosimian pondering. Below, a leaf falls. Fairly does the lemur swing, From tree to tree, a godlike thing, With great huge eyes and tufted hair, I know I see a lemur there! What does he think upon that limb? But more, how does he stay so slim? A diet of soda and worse, 'Tis nigh as bad as this poor verse. Send comments/criticism to MORROW@FNAL.FNAL.GOV (Greg Morrow). ------------------------------ (4) What lemur poetry has Nancy VonStein written? In response to the question "How much wood would a lemur chuck if a lemur could chuck wood?", Nancy wrote: A lemur would not chuck wood - even if he could. He'd sit and frink & sit and frink And let the woodchuck chuck the wood. Send comments/criticms to nvonstein@memstvx1.memst.edu (Nancy VonStein). ------------------------------ (5) What lemur poetry has Diana Senechal written? A Poem About The Lemur, From Whom All Good Things Come A gleam of eye. A Madagascar barren steppe, ogled by the clusters of flaring balls bouncing, sprinkled through eons. Rustles of grass. The furry scoundrel lights his way of mischief. In his eyes we see the caves. His skin ripples. Aplay, he kindles dreams. Sometimes he sends me gleanings of the dreams. Leaping, the cornfields leap, cackling, the sky plays tricks, hiding, the sunrise schemes, gliding, I ride the scarlet breeze, and hide in similes. The lemur took me on a walk. The walk led me to this place and date. The walk has not ended. I have never seen these places before. Too far away to know by his fingers, the little beast sends semblances, tokens, wrapped in obscurity. We all have guardian lemurs; each one brings different gifts. Each secret gift, a fuzzy slinky, bounces down the steppes into the room where broken glass, melted by real torches, blown into real glimmering twisty hollows, delights your eyes, lights you a maze, as twists of colored glass were meant to do. Send comments/criticism to sendiaa@yalevm.ycc.yale.edu (Diana Senechal). ------------------------------ (6) What lemur poetry has D. Page written? I'm a fan of lemurs, and the lemurs, they like me. We live together swinging by the kitchen light so free. And if I ever broke my friendship with them in anger or in haste, It would probably be cos' I'm so curious about how a lemur tastes. "I must be REALLY bored" Gentle Lemur-- Lemur of the Night Hold my fear, Steal my fright. Eat my twinkee-- You're welcome to it. Ptang my cat, You want to do it. Swing from light, Bang at glass. Eat my oreos, and I'll kick your (censored). "To Frink" To Run, To Jump, and Yes, To Frink. I think I need another Drink. (yes, that's all.) Short Lemur Pink Floyd Song. I don't wanna be a lemur. I don't wanna eat twinkees. Just can't get that cellophane open. Not worth the trouble at all to me... All in all I'm just a- Another lemur in the mall. All in all we're all Another Lemur in the mall. Get to Chessking, eat the jackets. Leave some (censored) at Burger King. Love to torture those small children And Frink just to be Frinking. All in all, the world-- Just lemurs in the Mall. All in all I'm just a-- Another lemur in the wall. Once this night I dreamt again Of Wide skies and lemur eyes I reached and skritched one upon the chin He 'frinks' with gentle sighs. His tail lay soft upon my arm Camera-faced, inscrutable Forever ageless; safe from harm Quiet and immutable. I love my lemur, this is true We've never had a fight Except when he leaves that twinkee goo Upon my kitchen light. Noble Lemur! Friend of Man! Smarter than a cat! He's dead now, he should've ran Or watched where I sat. Unbeknownst to many, that ever-popular group the Rascals, had a first draft to their song 'Good Lovin'' ...here, revealed for the first time... I was feelin' so bad. I asked my favorite Lemur what I had I said 'Lemur, ptang frink frink' Can you tell me, what I oughtta drink. He said 'Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep' (cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep) All you need, Well all I really need is BIG K BIG K BIG K Come on Lemur, squeeze me tight Don't you want the guy who feeds you to be alright. I said 'Lemur, its for sure, Eat those twinkies and I'll buy ya more. Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep.' (cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep) All I need, Well all I really need is BIG K BIG K BIG K (solo) chorus repeated. There once was a lemur named Binky. That loved Big K soda and Twinkies. But his favorite of all Was to heed nature's call And Ptang everything with his dinky. Send comments/criticisms to page@cerdic.cs.odu.edu (D. Page). ------------------------------ (7) What lemur poetry has Greg Bole written? Leaping lemur, how you love to launch loosely, looping through the leaves. You land looking lively, living for your little levitations. Send comments/criticisms to bole@hmivax.humgen.upenn.edu (Greg Bole) ------------------------------ (8) What lemur poetry has Josh Brandt written? "The Lemur" I am a lemur And I leem and I leem I leem through Madagascar's treetops I see the Twinkies come out of the sky Yeah, they're bright in a vending machine You know it looks so good tonight I am a lemur I stay in the trees I look through my window so bright I see the stars come out tonight You see my bright and glowing eyes Over Madagascar in the trees And everything looks good tonight Frinkin' cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep-cheep-cheep cheep Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep-cheep-cheep cheep Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep-cheep-cheep cheep cheep-cheep Get me a Twinkie We'll be lemurs We'll leem through Madagascar tonight See Madagascar's Twinkie supply We'll see our large and glowing eyes We'll see the stars that shine so brigh These Twinkies were made for us tonight Oh the lemur How how he leems Oh the lemur He leems and he leems He leems through the grassland What does he see? He sees with big reflective eyes He see the stars come out tonight He sees Madagascar's Twinkie supply He sees the shining treetop skies And everything was made for you and me All of it was made for you and me 'cause it just belongs to you and me So let's take a leem and see what's mine Frinking... Oh, the lemur He leems and he leems He sees things from in the trees He looks through his great big eyes He sees the Twinkies he knows are his He sees the National Geographic photographer He sees Madagascar asleep at night He sees the stars are out tonight And all of it is yours and mine And all of it is yours and mine Oh, let's leem and leem and leem and leem... Frinking... Oh tiny-fingered creature Turn your eyes toward me Let me but gaze Into the depths of your brown orbs Until I fall, lost, into the depths Of your mind The only mind that truly knows The meaning Of the word "Frink." Send comments/criticisms to mute@bigwpi.WPI.EDU (Josh Brandt) ------------------------------ (9) What lemur poetry has Rachel Perkins written? The following poem was inspired by Rachel's lemur finger-puppet. lemur lemur on my finger, to me you're a contentment bringer, with you i can frink and swing on lampshades, also now in lemur sing. Send comments/criticisms to rperkins@astro.as.arizona.edu (Rachel J. Perkins). ------------------------------ (10) What lemur poetry has Sean Barrett written? lemur in the tree eye bigger than camera lens frink frink frink frink frink Send comments/criticisms to sbar@genie.geis.com (Sue Miller/Sean Barrett). ------------------------------ (11) What lemur poetry has David Bianco written? seven eleven home of the big slushie drinks lemur prefers grape lemur remembers once there were vines to swing from but aisles are nice too oh no the lemur the store is out of twinkies he'll have fritos instead Send comments/criticisms to bianco@cs.odu.edu (David J. Bianco). ------------------------------ (12) What lemur poetry has Josh Smith written? alt.fan.lemurs spreads: swiftly growing readership as Joel spreads the word Send comments/criticisms to irilyth@fenris.claremont.edu (Josh Smith). ------------------------------ (13) What lemur poetry has Ericka Perdew written? Furry soft lemurs Gulping Big K and Twinkies They'll need Mylanta Send comments/criticisms to barker@acc.fau.edu (Ericka Perdew). ------------------------------ (14) What lemur poetry has Jay Stock/Dale Jarvis written? (Note: this poem came from jstock@TrentU.CA (jay stock) but was signed DJARVIS@TRENTU.CA (Dale Jarvis). Your guess is as good as mine.) The evening before my lemur died, The Madagascar night sky had open up its sluice gates; And everything had been drenched in the sweet Pure rain of early summer. The pines towered over us, we two; Dwarfed by the majesty of the reddish trunks Rising like monstrous poles to their jade canopy An impossible canvas tent; The only heaven we could see. I remember small things: his eyes big as hubcaps, a flying squirrel without wings. His opposable thumb circling mine as we walked. Our Snoopy rubber boots crunching. The Twinkie crumbs on our shirtfronts. The dead needles breaking like tiny lemming bones. The light filtering green through the tree tops. We were so young, and I, The eldest by four years, barely eleven. One tree was older or younger than its kin, And its branches grew closer to the ground, Closer to our grasping hands. Closer to our climbing feet. We climbed higher and higher, my lemur and me. Our voices sang in adoration of nature: Now laughing, now talking, now groaning At a difficult stretch between the wet branches, Or at the pitch which oozed like Aunt Jemima Light Maple Syrup From the trunk and encased our hands. The rain forest floor spread out beneath us, Dark satin fitting snugly against the wood. I could taste the wind, and smell the sky I shouted with delight, and heard my lemur gasp As I turned and watched him slip and fall, A flying squirrel without wings. The equitorial forest was alive with sound but for the muffled Silence my lemur made as he hit the needles, Their dead mass embracing his. We were so young, and I, The eldest by four years, barely eleven. Send comments/criticisms to jstock@trentu.ca and djarvis@trentu.ca. ------------------------------ (15) What lemur poetry has Susan Miller written? Some Lemur Carols -- from Sue Miller 111. God Rest Ye Merry, Lemurs All. God rest ye merry, lemurs all, Let nothing you dismay. Remember that a lemur swings From kitchen lamps all day To show us how to a lemur plays And blends the blues away. Oh tidings of frinking and joy, frinking and joy! Oh tidings of frinking and joy. A Twinkie is a wondrous food For lemurs, who like sweets. And YooHoo is a favorite drink, 'Twill bring them from their seats. Oh! feed your lemurs junky food And keep your Circle-K receipts! Oh tidings of frinking and joy, frinking and joy! Oh tidings of frinking and joy. White chocolate macadamia, Or Semi-sweet with nuts, Or oatmeal raisin cookies too To fill their furry guts. Leave bags upon your patio And you will get your cut. Oh tidings of frinking and joy, frinking and joy! Oh tidings of frinking and joy. 200. Ptang! The Herald Lemur Swings Ptang! The herald lemur swings From kitchen lamps and hanging things! Twinkies stir their appetites, So feed some to them every night. Joyful now lemurs all rise. Swing from lampposts, swing from neckties! With zoologic zeal proclaim "Down with cows! The lemurs reign!" Ptang! The herald lemur swings From kitchen lamps and hanging things. Send comments/criticisms to Susan Miller <miller_su@swam1.enet.dec.com>. ------------------------------ (16) What lemur poetry has Jim Griffith written? Sonnet #1 Ode to a Lemur By Jim Griffith Ringed tails pointed to the sky, Lemurs use them to find one another. The young ones clinging to their mother, Their fur matted with Hostess pie. The older ones climbing up high, Leaping and playing with each other, When the cows come, they duck for cover. No one is quite sure why. With prehensile tail and big brown eyes, Opposable thumb to open twinkies How I wish I were a lemur! Even with grape soda on their thighs And frosting on their pinkies They draw chicks better than a Beemer. Sonnet #2 Adventures in Lemur Infestation By Jim Griffith I awake to the sound of cellophane Rustling in my den I rush there to see and then As I cross the entry main I sight frosting prints on the window pane Grape soda stains the ottomen The lemurs have returned again The signs are all too plain. How do I keep my place lemur-free? This I have yet to learn, And no answer seems near. I can cut down every tree, And still they will return To swing upon my chandelier. Soft fur and large eyes Rings on its tail and it cries Frink frink frink frink frink Jim Wasn't sure if "ptang" was 1 syllable or 2 Send comments/criticism to griffith@scam.Berkeley.EDU (Jim Griffith). --------------- The FAQ continues with Part 4 of 6, "Lemurs Versus Cows." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Revised February 15, 1993 by Joel Furr, jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu Revised April 5, 1993 by Joel Furr, jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu